Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
