I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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