The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
