Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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