Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
