Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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