at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
