They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
