..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
