just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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