she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
