you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize