that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
