well you can't waste a boner
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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