Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
