Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
