Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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