can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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