Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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