My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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