Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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