I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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