I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes