I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months