I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME