Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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