I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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