why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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