i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
