Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
