dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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