So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
