dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
