By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize