We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm too high and old for this...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
