I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
