I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
