my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
