If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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