I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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