Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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