How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
