I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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