So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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