and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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