he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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