haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
