I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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