I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
