We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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