You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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