Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
