her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
