so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
