i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
