rhymes with "ouble enetration"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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