I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
