I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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