yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Mom said you looked used
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
