Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
