I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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