I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
