Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
